In the tinsel galaxy of Hollywood stars, there is no one—not Nick Nolte, not Charlie Sheen, not Mel “Sugar Tits” Gibson—who has more experience in front of the cameras of the Los Angeles Police Department than former child star turned career drinker Lindsay Lohan. With experience comes nonchalance, and for her latest mugshot (No. 6, as enumerated on DListed) ol’ LiLo didn’t even bother to brush her hair or, apparently, to change out of her kid brother’s baseball jacket. She still got the false eyelashes on, though. What a trouper.
This momentary capture of insouciant incarceration has yet to be GIF’d, but thanks to VH1, the previous five shots have been put together in a kind of Dorian Gray-esque portrait of the artist as a progressively-less-young trainwreck.
As her career options have shrunk, so have her lips inflated, thanks to an undeniable fondness for the needle (whatever she may say about powders or beverages) and the cut-rate facial fillers, so some wag has constructed a Warholesque grid of her grinning gob GIFs in tight closeup, inflating before your very (traumatized) eyes.
We can laugh, if bitterly, but it’s well to remember that once she was talented, once she was diligent, and twice she has been on the cover of Vanity Fair. The half-life of a starlet is measured in units themselves as debased as a tarnished copper penny. Sic transit gloria mundane.